What's a guy to do when he's "dated and made love to some of the most desirable, beautiful starlets in Hollywood" but still can't find love? If you're Scott Baio, you find two co-writers to package up your pinhead thoughts and try to sell a book. Perhaps emboldened by the success of early '90s casualty Tori Spelling, who sold her memoir to Simon & Schuster for $300,000 in December (albeit, after asking for $2 million), Baio is shopping around his own, poignantly titled tell-all, BaioWatch: How I Dated and Loved Hollywood's Most Beautiful Women and Ended Up Alone.

The book, which Radar obtained the first 60 pages of, is effectively a compendium of love advice Baio gleaned from flings with everyone from Pam Anderson to Heather "The One That Got Away" Locklear to, um, Liza Minnelli (A taste: "Take it from me, when a woman says, 'I need time to think,' it's over. You're f**ed. That train has left the station. Cry for two days, then find someone else.")

Those looking for a little Baio lovin' to put next to their Charles in Charge: Season One DVD will undoubtedly be thrilled if he happens to find a publisher (though, a publishing source notes, "several have already passed.").

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On the exact moment he knew his relationship with Pamela Anderson was over: "One day Pamela came home and said, 'I'm thinking of getting my boobs done.' Admittedly, I was surprised. My initial response, 'Reduced?' She already had large, beautiful, natural breasts. At that moment I knew our relationship would soon begin to crumble. Pamela had finally gone Hollywood-or whatever it is that happens when a woman becomes a hot celebrity."

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Perhaps most bizarre, however, is an exchange he details in which a 51-year-old Minnelli tries to get Baio to become her surrogate baby daddy: "'I really want your sperm. You're a talented, good-looking Italian guy. That's what I want my child to be.' I was incredulous. 'What are you gonna do with my sperm?' 'Well, I'm going to take my egg and put it into somebody else's body.'"