Newsweek: What makes you, Dave Barry, qualified to give financial advice?

Dave Barry: I looked around and I realized that I was the only person who hadn't written a book about financial advice. And I thought, either I write it or Suze Orman was going to have to write her 97th book. Plus I was running out of topics, so it was this or Su Doku.

Newsweek: Did you do any research?

Dave Barry: I read Donald Trump's book. It's called: How to Get Rich. It took about an hour to read it, which I'd say is an hour longer than it took him to write it. It's like this collection of random neural firings from Donald. I have a chapter [in my book] that really summarizes it including some quotations.